JUGGLER, PORN STAR, MONKEY WRENCH
BY RICH LEDER
My name is Mark Manilow. I’m a LA screenwriter. Here’s my recipe for a cocktail called “Romantic Hollywood Sex Comedy.”
Start with my estranged wife, who left me two years ago to become a juggler.
Pour in my ensuing emotional tailspin.
Blend with a brutal case of writer’s block.
Mix with my last-gasp writing job, a ridiculous porn flick called Broken Boner.
Add in the Broken Boner porn star, who seduces me into an ill-fated partnership.
Throw in the gun-toting producer and eccentric Montecito billionaire, who hire me to adapt the phone book into a movie.
Combine with the return of my headaches and a trip to an ancient Chinese healer, where I meet the healer’s beguiling granddaughter—my monkey wrench.
Serve with wonderment as to whether or not I’ll find a way to settle things with the juggler, break it off with the porn star, and fall in love with the monkey wrench…or if anyone will stop laughing long enough to notice.
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I've been a working writer for more than two decades. My screen credits include 18 produced television films for CBS, Lifetime, and Hallmark and feature films for Paramount Pictures, Tri-Star Pictures, and Left Bank Films.
I've been the lead singer in a Detroit rock band, a restaurateur, a Little League coach, a literacy tutor, a magazine editor, a writing coach, a commercial real estate agent, an indie film director, and a visiting artist for the University of North Carolina Wilmington Film Studies Department, among other things, all of which, it turns out, was grist for the mill. I live on the North Carolina coast with my awesome wife, Lulu, and I'm sustained by the visits home of our three children.